I was phoneless, broke and bored. ASUU was on strike and I thought to myself “what better way to spend this unfortunate holiday than with my sister”. So I borrowed money from my roommate and hopped on the next bus from Benin to Abuja. Let me give you a little context; I have lived in Lagos all of my life, schooled in the University of Benin, but I’ve always been a home-lover. The day I decided on an impromptu travel to visit my sister in Abuja, I knew that adventure was my calling. I consider myself a bit of an adrenaline junky so I do things on impulse.

My sister didn’t know of my arrival till I was an hour away. I’ve always loved to pull the rugs from beneath her feet when I can. Fortunately for me my sister is nothing like my mother, so she took the news of my impromptu visit rather well. I reckon my mum would have left me at the bus park if she was in my sister’s shoes. 

I know I said I was phoneless, but I had a phone, a Nokia torchlight, you cant really blame me for not considering it a phone. The first thing I noticed when I arrived wass the lack of haste in everyone’s foot step. As a Lagos babe (born and bred) I was taken aback by the relaxed attitude of everyone. I even mentioned this to my sister, she just laughed and said “You’ll soon understand that hustle is not always to suffer”. I remember being in awe at the broad road with no traffic. Tired as I was,  I couldn’t keep my mouth closed because I was awestruck.  

It was only a day into my Abuja adventure that I knew I had made a terrible mistake. There was no network. Apparently, my sister had chosen to live in the jungle. Her house was located in the farthest part of Gwarinpa and there was no MTN Satellite Mass. And it was bad for me because my phone was not the type to search for networks, as you recall I was using a phone better known as ‘Talonsobe?’ I remember wondering why my silly impulsive attitude hadn’t taken me home to the comfort of my father’s house. 

Abuja is known for it’s Hills. The same way Lagos is known for it’s beaches. If you’re a fan of hiking then this is a city for you. The stunning cliffs, adorned with whitewashed buildings and vibrant blue domes, created a picture-perfect scene that I had only seen in postcards. I absolutely hated it. So much sun and so little energy in me. I know you’re probably wondering “why go hiking when you hate it” but try staying in a house with no sort of entertainment but the snake game on your phone, And let me tell you, I had passed all levels in that game, I had become snake master in the few days I had been there. That’s what boredom did to me. So I found myself sweaty, angry and hungry on a hill in Abuja on a Saturday morning. Prior to this little vacation I was on, I had never stepped foot in the gym, So imagine the torture my legs were going through. After the whole “exercise” as my sister called it, she did treat me with chicken sandwich she made from scratch, so I forgave her for trying to cripple me.  

 The next day, my sister and her friends extended an invitation for me to join their group to hang out. I happily agreed and we ended up at a delightful Sunday brunch at City Park in Wuse 2. The park was a lush, vibrant green, and I found myself wanting to capture every possible moment. One thing I noticed about the people in Abuja is their fondness for dressing up! While I’ve always admired the diverse fashion in Lagos, I was taken aback by how the people in Abuja dress appropriately for various occasions. They don’t hesitate to don heels when meeting a friend, as long as the occasion calls for it.

My adventure didn’t stop there, the following day I was able to convince my sister to take me to an arcade. We went to a place called Wonderland. The place was like a paradise for adults wanting to relive their childhood. There were endless options for fun and excitement, and I was left feeling both energized and slightly overwhelmed by all the activities. However, the one experience that truly captured my attention was the exhilarating bull riding activity. Not because I was good at it but because my sister was also shit at it. I find great pleasure in knowing I’m not the only one messing up sometimes (my humor is weird like that) 

The next place we went to was Crush Café. My sister and her friends had wanted a girl’s night out, who was I to say no? I happily dressed up, not caring where we wereoff to so far as it was out of the house. I vividly recall a charming outdoor restaurant set against a picturesque backdrop. The air was filled with delightful melodies, and the menu offered a delectable array of dishes at reasonable prices. It was there I thought I had met the love of my life, boy was I wrong.

The confident and assured manner in which he looked and spoke captivated me. I couldn’t help but gaze at him for longer than I intended, and I didn’t mind that he noticed. I, my sister and her friends were ready to leave when he finally approached me to collect my number. I thought to myself “Finally uga” That night I slept with a big smile on my face. Blame it on reading too many Werewolves novels but I genuinely thought I had found my soulmate. Silly me. 

He asked me out on an official first date the following day and I eagerly said yes. I remember dressing up and feeling giddy like a teenage schoolgirl. He came to pick me up around 6 pm, I though it was going to be magical just like in the books I’ve read. Five minutes into the ride he asked where I would like to go, I was a bit lost because I thought he would have everything figured out(like the characters in my books always did) but I just said I would like to go to a restaurant that served Iced Coffee with whipped cream on it. Seeing as I’m new in here, he was supposed to know places I don’t. This man drove me to his house and served me Milo and Milk. 

I’ll be honest, it wasn’t the terrible date that brought tears to my eyes that night, it was my sister’s laugher when I told her the whole story. 

You would think after the date gone wrong I would give up on men. But no,  not Casey. I went on another date with another guy I met when I went hiking. Before you judge me, let me remind you, I was bored without a phone.  A woman should never be bored. 

We went to a place called International Conference Center. It was a stunning sight, adorned with beautiful lighting that created an atmosphere perfect for capturing memorable moments. The venue not only impressed with its aesthetics but also delighted us with a diverse collection of board games and mouthwatering cuisine. The guy I was with invited his friends and they In turn invited their babes. The whole thing was going very well until one of the guys shamelessly started rubbing my leg under the table. Initially I thought to myself “this can’t be real”. But I kid you not, it was real as a heart attack.  We were in the middle of playing Jenga and it had gotten to my turn, but I knew I had to go home before I made a scene. So I excused myself, told my date I was going to the bathroom, and then I called my sister to book my ride. I returned to my seat when I was sure my ride was here, officially wished my date and everyone else a goodnight and then I left.  Five minutes into my ride and I got a call from an unknown number, I picked it up, low and behold it was the Mr. Leggy. Men and audacity really go hand in hand. He had stolen my number from my date’s phone, apparently they are cousins. Of course  I blocked him and the cousin that night before I went to bed.

My visit to Abuja turned out to be way different than I had imagined—it was even more amazing than I could have hoped for.  The city’s vibrant atmosphere, the friendliness of its residents, and the thrilling escapades all combined to create an unforgettable experience. All in all, a time was had. Plus, I wound up meeting a bunch of wonderful people who still surprise me with Christmas presents every year!